• Fear the four eyed monster
  • By May Rostom

    Fear takes us places we thought we’d never go before.

    Fear of failure gets us in a boring, routine day job that we hate but eventually get ourselves to go everyday just to feel successful like everyone else. Fear of rejection makes us change our skin, hair color, and personality just to be approved of. Fear of loss is the reason why people smother and cling to each other, knowing that someday they’ll wake up without this person in their lives. Fear of commitment drives us away from the people we love the most, scared to have taken the wrong decision even when they have a gut feeling that it’s the right thing to do. Why do we fear? A past experience maybe, a friend’s tragic story, or simply self value and appreciation telling you this is where you stand, and this how you should be treated.

    Fear has a sneaky way of tricking you into going into the opposite direction without you knowing it. It lets you do things you wouldn’t normally do, lets you perceive things from a different dimension, and lets you cross your limits just to prove to yourself “I will not submit to fear”.

    As negative of an emotion as it seems, fear actually pushes you forward. Sometimes in the right direction towards what’s good for you, and sometimes in the wrong direction towards self harm. But either way, fear is just a state of mind. We weren’t born with it, we didn’t stop and think” hey, should I come out of mum’s womb, or should I stay here till I'm 15?”

    We didn’t fear anything when we were younger, an uncovered lollipop found in the sand pit was still edible, a lady bug in the playground was something we took home, and heights were what made slides more fun. As we grow older, we fear more. We let fear control us, we lose spontaneity, and we tie ourselves up in such a confined space without knowing that we’re actually feeding our fear into an un-controllable four- eyed monster that will jump out of the closet one day.

    The key to change is letting go of fear. Every time we stand up to it, we gain strength, confidence, and energy to go beyond our biggest fears and to move towards the unknown. Maybe failure, rejection, loss, and commitment are there in our lives to shape them not to hinder them. Maybe failing is the reason why you get up stronger afterwards. Maybe rejection is the reason why you learn to love yourself and appreciate it. Maybe losing someone or something was the door that opened, not the one that closed.

    Lastly, maybe commitment and intimacy are not so bad after all but fear will stop us from ever knowing that. When paralyzed with fear, remember that even superman overcame kryptonite every time. .

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